Distant Memory

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my past. More specifically, my most recent ex-girlfriend. The main reason for this or at least I think the main reason I have been thinking about her so much lately can mainly be attributed to the fact that her and I have a lot of unfinished business. Our relationship ended so abruptly that I just couldn't really process what was really going on at the time. As soon as I received the text on that dreadful day, my heart just sank. It was as if my whole body went numb. Someone could have literally punched me in the face and I would have welcomed it. At least when you're getting punched in the face you're semi prepared for how painful it's going to be. Well, unless you're getting punched by a prime Mike Tyson. Then you're pretty much screwed. To numb the pain, I did what any guy would do in my situation. I simply ignored it as a whole. Now that in itself, just created another barrier within myself. One way or another, you're going to have to face the problem eventually. One day, you have to realize that it's over and at that time, I just wasn't ready to confront that awful reality.

It's been almost a year since my ex and I have broken up but the wounds still seem fresh. You'd think time would start to do its thing and start healing some wounds. I guess, I'll just have to wait a bit longer for that to occur. One thing, I felt that I could do to really try and get at least a little bit of closure to the situation was to drown myself in poetry. I needed to find a way to revisit what I felt that day, capture how serious the situation actually was, and finally put an end to that chapter in my life. In my heart, I knew it was way past due in getting over my ex but that's what happens when you simply don't deal with the problem up front. Usually, I just ignore it until it goes away and I really need to stop doing that. In recent years though, it has almost become a way of life for me. I'm actually a super chill guy. I joke around probably 90 percent of the time and I try not to take life too seriously. Maybe that's been my problem all along. Maybe just maybe, I need to start confronting the reality that ignoring your problems is not the best way of resolving them.

The poem that I've written is in fact one of my personal favorites. It took me about two hours to write. The only reason it took so long was because, I kept on goofing off. I like to think of myself as being an above average multitasker but in reality I actually suck. Yes, you heard it from the horses mouth. Sometimes even I tend to take on more than I can actually handle. Some of those things that kept me from finishing this poem sooner were trying to actually write the poem, eating, surfing social media, and even texting my buddy that I couldn't come to his party and get "Turnt" because I was stuck inside writing poetry. After which he replied with a full paragraph containing nothing but 

crying with laughter emoji's. Anyways, here's my poem. Hope you appreciate it as much as I do. 

            

                       “Distant Memory”

I loved you once,
But now it seems you’re nothing,
Nothing more than a distant memory,
In time,
You’ll slip into the back of my mind,
Until the day I think back,
And wonder what it would be like,
If only for a second,
To see your face once more,
I remember those lips,
That crooked smile,
Those brown eyes,
I've seen none other, 
But thinking back,
Is all I’ll ever be able to do,
You’re nothing more than a distant memory,
And that’s all you’ll ever be.